PAUL HEDDERMAN’s very useful term of ‘selfing’

All great Traditions teach us to ‘awaken more, detach from self more and serve others better’. The barrier is always the self, or at least the false, egoistic self. At least one of the great Traditions, the Baha’i Faith, includes teaching on bringing ourselves to account each day. Over time we must see more deeply into our motivation – as in the challenge that ‘the good deeds of the ordinary person are the sins of a saint’.

The usefulness of ‘selfing’ includes seeing it as a verb. This means our self-centredness can be much subtler than we think. The ‘devil’, in this case our egoistic self, shape-shifts as we mature.

Here is Paul on ‘selfing’;

Dear Paul Hedderman

Dear Paul Hedderman – you may well have a respectful, loving and compassionate attitude toward women but the term bitch-slap is still primarily a term for violence against women. Paul has named his site

Can we use another term for the metaphor – just ‘zenslap’ – the ‘bitch’ element adds nothing positive.

Perhaps another name can be inspired by the following;

“In Zen Buddhism, the keisaku (Japanese: 警策, Chinese: 香板, xiāng bǎn; kyōsaku in the Soto school) is a flat wooden stick or slat used during periods of meditation to remedy sleepiness or lapses of concentration. This is accomplished through a strike or series of strikes, usually administered on the meditator’s back and shoulders in the muscular area between the shoulder blades and the spine. The keisaku itself is thin and somewhat flexible; strikes with it, though they may cause momentary sting if performed vigorously, are not injurious.

The word “keisaku” may be translated as “warning stick”, or “awakening stick”, and is wielded by the jikijitsu. “Encouragement stick” is a common translation for “kyōsaku”. In Soto Zen, the kyōsaku is always administered at the request of the meditator, by way of bowing one’s head and putting the palms together in gassho, and then exposing each shoulder to be struck in turn. In Rinzai Zen, the stick is requested in the same manner, but may also be used at the discretion of the Ino, the one in charge of the meditation hall. Even in such cases, it is not considered a punishment, but a compassionate means to reinvigorate and awaken the meditator who may be tired from many sessions of zazen, or under stress, the “monkey mind” (overwhelmed with thoughts).” SOURCE –

FILM TRAILER: Traveling Lighter with Paul Hedderman

Traveling Lighter with Paul Hedderman – Trailer

YouTube NOTES: Practical and profound, Paul Hedderman’s philosophy blends his experience in recovery with the wisdom of Advaita and Nonduality. He calls on us to consider our deeply held notions about self and awareness under a fresh light, and points to a simpler and lighter way of being in the world. A man of no pretense, Paul’s unique language and solid presence bespeak the depth of his understanding of the human condition—in which the original addiction is the mind’s addiction to being a self. Filmed in High-Definition and featuring music by Kirtan chant artist and sacred singer/songwriter David Newman. Available now at

Paul Hedderman: Hear with Lion Ears

Paul Hedderman has these two quotes on his site. Below is a favourite of mine from Paul;
“When you are deluded and full of doubt even a thousand books are not enough.when you have realized understanding even one word is too much.” – Fen Yang

“Nothing has to be given up. Just realize that whatever you “know” is different from who you are” – Nisargadatta Maharaj –