Is “Go home and make peace with your parents” the same as “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood”?

Friends introduced me to a healing insight illuminating the second half of this post’s title.

The insight, about parents, is – ‘s/he did the best s/he could, given the hand that life dealt them’. Only then did I start to feel love for my parents. The love didn’t fully flower until they had moved on to the next world – and I never sufficiently developed the care I wish I could have given them. No matter now I can.

The first part of the title of today’s post is from a wonderfully interesting video by Mark Wolynn – about how many of us inherit family trauma;

NOTES FROM The Science & Nonduality site HERE;

Unconsciously, we relive our mother’s anxiety. We repeat our father’s disappointments. We replicate the failed relationships of our parents and grandparents. Just as we inherit our eye color and blood type, we also inherit the residue from traumatic events that have taken place in our family. Illness, depression, anxiety, unhappy relationships and financial challenges can all be forms of this unconscious inheritance. Sharing insights and case studies from his new book It Didn’t Start With You, How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (Viking, 2016), Wolynn will discuss the latest advances in epigenet- ics—how traumatic experiences can be inherited from our parents and grandparents—as well as the newest research in neuroscience that supports healing, how to break the patterns we’ve unknowingly adopted that keep the cycle of suffering alive from generation to generation. Wolynn will also present his Core Language Approach, a method for identifying inherited family trauma and decoding our own personal language of trauma.

Mark Wolynn, director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. A sought-after lecturer, he has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center, and The California Institute of Integral Studies. His forthcoming book IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle will be published by Viking/Penguin in April 2016.

Scott Kiloby says; "Seeing through the story of self has been one of the greatest healing tools I’ve found. "

Scott Kiloby says that when he was younger he had various forms of illness, some labelled, some not defined, but now looking back he sees them as arising from his ‘story of self’;

I love particularly the first and last sentences here;

“Seeing through the story of self has been one of the greatest healing tools I’ve found. It worked better than most of the medicine I took that was prescribed by a doctor. And it was certainly more helpful than all the addictive substances and activities I used to try and medicate the emotional and mental suffering. Those were all merely band aids for a more pervasive cause of stress and dis-ease—the story of me. The story was really not about survival at all. It just seemed that way. The only thing that survives in the story is the story itself. As long as the story is entertained and followed, the story persists. And as long as the story persists, with its intense peaks and valleys of thought and emotion, stress happens in the body. Perhaps heart disease and cancer should be replaced at the top of the list of human killers with “the story of me.” Millions of dollars in health care costs could probably be saved each year by teaching people to rest in presence and let all emotions and sensations to be as they are, without stories and labels.

For Scott’s article go here – http://kiloby.com/writings.php?offset=0&writingid=379

For more information about seeing through the story, check out Scott Kiloby’s ‘Living Inquiries.’

Everyday awakening: The ‘transcendence overlap’ between poetry & sacred scriptures

TOPICS: Love poetry, magic moments, healing via welcoming all ‘visitors’, self-integration through reincarnation letting go past & future & dropping ‘vicious circles’, our shadow self – in response to unintegrated ‘inner weather’, ‘I’ being the light (of awareness) Remember JT’s definition of meditation; “moment-to-moment presence that excludes nothing, and sticks to nothing.”

1a)
The Awakening by James Weldon Johnson, 1871 – 1928 SOURCE
I dreamed that I was a rose
That grew beside a lonely way,
Close by a path none ever chose,
And there I lingered day by day.
Beneath the sunshine and the show’r
I grew and waited there apart,
Gathering perfume hour by hour,
And storing it within my heart,
Yet, never knew,
Just why I waited there and grew.

I dreamed that you were a bee
That one day gaily flew along,
You came across the hedge to me,
And sang a soft, love-burdened song.
You brushed my petals with a kiss,
I woke to gladness with a start,
And yielded up to you in bliss
The treasured fragrance of my heart;
And then I knew
That I had waited there for you. -0-

1b
Jenny Kiss’d Me by Leigh Hunt
Jenny kiss’d me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I’m weary, say I’m sad,
Say that health and wealth have miss’d me,
Say I’m growing old, but add,
Jenny kiss’d me.

2)
The Guest House, by Rumi (The Essential Rumi – Coleman Barks)
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

3) COMMENTARY BY JULIAN SPALDING: In the Guest House Rumi is telling us that the entirety of human experience is valuable. None of it is to be discounted as unnecessary or even avoidable. All emotions are valid and indeed desirable, even those we wish to evade. One moment is joyful, another is depressed, even meanness demands attention. Accept and honor them all, he says, because each portends a new state of being. Each is the portal to new awareness. Accepting each state is accepting the entirety of one’s being. The shadow and the light carry equal weight.

Although he doesn’t expressly say it, implicit in his poem is the truth that emotions that are repressed come back to haunt us in malicious forms. When we look the dark thought in the face, allow the shame to be loved, it ceases to demand our attention. All the ugly children, the orphans, only want to be admitted into conscious awareness & no longer considered unlovable. When each is admitted and embraced, the prodigal son comes home. When the visitor is given welcome, a new dispensation is permitted.

The only way I can know the truth of Rumi’s poem is by its relevance to my own life journey. When I allowed my deep toxic shame to see the light of day, for my own exiled self to be embraced, only then could the shamed little boy be allowed to heal by feeling loved as he is. He thought he was unlovable with his unacceptable desires to love other boys. Only when he could love his shamed self could that self be transformed. Only when he allowed himself to be revealed authentically, could he be released from his prison of shame and self judgment. It isn’t in being lovable that he found release, but in being unlovable that he could step into a new self definition.

Rumi’s poem reveals the truth that being human is messy. Admit all feelings to the banquet of love or else they will destroy you by their insistence to be recognized, embraced and admitted to full conscious awareness. Rumi validates my own life experience and inner knowing, reminding me to be grateful for all my inner family, the dark and the light, the shame and the triumphant spirit, the malice and the generosity of spirit.

I think the poem ties in beautifully with Jung’s concept of the shadow. When feelings are disowned and banished to the unconscious, they exert undue influence on our lives. They demand to be recognized despite our attempts to repress them. Conversely, when disowned parts of self are recognized and integrated into conscious awareness, we become a more whole version of ourselves. When all parts are accepted or integrated, the house welcomes all guests. © 2012 Julian Spalding -0-

4) In Jungian psychology, the shadow or “shadow aspect” may refer to (1) an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself. Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one’s personality, the shadow is largely negative, or (2) the entirety of the unconscious, i.e., everything of which a person is not fully conscious. There are, however, positive aspects which may also remain hidden in one’s shadow (especially in people with low self-esteem).[1] Contrary to a Freudian definition of shadow, therefore, the Jungian shadow can include everything outside the light of consciousness, and may be positive or negative. “Everyone carries a shadow,” Jung wrote, “and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”[2] It may be (in part) one’s link to more primitive animal instincts,[3] which are superseded during early childhood by the conscious mind. (WikiPedia) -0- Cf awakening as resting as awareness.

RP Religions are created via the founder High-prophets ‘poetry’ of Revelation + their commentaries – and so are we through spiritual awakening They ‘run down’ degenerate via all forms corruption + churchianity-ization (structures contrary to original).
5) The Infinite “I” SOURCE
You Are The Light

Jesus said:
“I” is the light (of awareness)
that shines upon all things. “I” is the All
from which everything emanates
and to which everything returns. St. Thomas

In a talk, given some time ago in India, entitled: The Power of Not Knowing, Eckhart Tolle quoted from an English translation of the Kena Upanishad the following lines which he said were an important ‘pointer’ to our true Self;

Not that which the eye sees, but that whereby the eye can see,
Know that alone to be Brahman, the Eternal, and not what people here adore.
Not that which the ear hears, but that whereby the ear can hear,
Know that alone to be Brahman, the Eternal, and not what people here adore.
Not that which the mind thinks, but that whereby the mind can think,
Know that alone to be Brahman, the Eternal, and not what people here adore.

Eckhart then went on to say …
The word “I” is the most frequently used word in the English language … or in any language. Usually, when people use the word “I”, they are referring to ‘me and my story’ — the conditioned entity — the fiction that I identify with as ‘me.’

But there is a deeper meaning to “I” — that is, the delusion of “I” — the delusion of (the egoic) self. For ultimately, “I” is a sacred word, (indicating the unborn, eternal Self).

“I”, on the normal level of human consciousness, expresses delusion, which is what the Buddha recognised when he saw the delusion of ‘self’ — he referred to that “I” and he saw through it.

And so, when that delusion is recognised, (it can be seen) that recognition already originates from the unconditioned Consciousness. The delusional entity cannot recognise its own delusion, so the recognition of it is already the light shining through from underneath, so to speak.

From there (this unconditioned Consciousness) arises the recognition of the delusion of the story-based, form-based, mind-based, identification-based identity.

This is what Jesus referred to when he said, “Before Abraham was, I am.” Not, “Before Abraham was, I was already.” There is neither ‘was’ nor ‘will be’ in “I”, it IS eternal Presence — eternal ‘Nowness’. And this is what the Upanishad refers to also — it is the Formless, it is the Unconditioned.

It (the infinite unconditioned “I”) is known, but never in a subject/object relationship — it cannot be known in such a way. So one could say, it cannot be known at all – you can only BE it. Realise that you ARE it, but cannot know it as you know an object in consciousness

For thousands of years, people have been trying to make God into an object in consciousness — the idea of God, the image of God, statements about (God) etc.

This is why the Upanishad says, “Not what people here adore” — that is not God — not that which you see, not that which you hear, not that which you think, not (even) that which you believe in, because belief is thought.

You believe in God — that also is “Not what people here adore” — it is a mental idol — ultimately, it is an ideology.

You believe in God and the person next to you believes in Communism — two ideologies! So it’s “Not what people here adore” — not that which the mind thinks, not that which the mind believes, but That which makes all thinking, all believing, all sense-perception possible. The Formless, out of which all forms arise.

And That is the innermost “I”, the (formless) Essence that gets mixed up in your life with forms -that is, the deepest innermost Self. ~ Transcribed from a talk given by Eckhart Tolle in Rishikesh, India, as recorded in DVD series, Touching the Eternal — Disk 3. entitled:The Power of Not Knowing.

I wonder if I know him by ~ Rabindranath Tagore, “I”.

In whose speech is my voice,
In whose movement is my being,
Whose skill is in my lines,
Whose melody is in my songs
In joy and sorrow.

I thought he was chained within me,
Contained by tears and laughter,
Work and play.

I thought he was my very self
Coming to an end with my death.
Why then in a flood of joy do I feel him
In the sight and touch of my beloved?
This ‘I’ beyond self I found
On the shores of the shining sea.

Therefore I know
This ‘I’ is not imprisoned within my bounds.

Losing myself, I find him
Beyond the borders of time and space.

Through the Ages
I come to know his Shining Self
In the Iife of the seeker,
In the voice of the poet.
From the dark clouds pour the rains.

I sit and think:
Bearing so many forms, so many names,
I come down, crossing the threshold
Of countless births and deaths.

The Supreme undivided, complete in himself,
Embracing past and present,
Dwells in Man.

Within Him I shall find myself –
The ‘I’ that reaches everywhere. -0-

Joan Tollifson gives us the only definition of reincarnation that makes sense – We can notice how the “same old me” with “my same old problems” reincarnates through thinking & story-telling, how “the same old world” is seemingly recreated again & again? She also refers to the inner drama of thought & feelings as being ”inner weather’ Two brilliant ideas. -0- END -0-

TAGS: Love poetry, magic moments, healing, Rumi, self-integration, reincarnation, letting go past & future, dropping ‘vicious circles’,shadow self, unintegrated shadow self, ‘inner weather’, the light of awareness, Joan Tollifson, meditation aa “moment-to-moment presence that excludes nothing, and sticks to nothing.”

JOAN TOLLIFSON: on ‘radical simplicity’ – religion as simple attention, awareness, healing and presence

Joan Tollifson Simplicity of what is

In the three quotations below we have a view of religion, or at least of its essential spirituality, that is radically simple. It seems to me that together they express the healing heart of the universally mystical that is essential to our discovery of our true Self via healing at-one-ment.

They also constitute pointers to the essential mystical core of all of the great Traditions, now so often buried or banished beneath Churchianity. (Make up your own term for each of the other great Traditions. ‘Churchianity’ refers to the usurpation of the essential Christ story and teachings in which like the mystics we are asked to Awaken more, Detach from egotistic self more and Serve others better. Just that.)

For Joan, and others, meditation, brilliantly, is; “moment-to-moment presence that excludes nothing and sticks to nothing”. ‘Bare-Bones Meditation: Waking up from the Story of My Life’.

“Maybe that is the purest and most radical kind of religion – simple attention. Present-moment awareness. Instead of a belief system, awareness sees through all beliefs.”
-0-
“….we maintain awareness, whether we know it or not, healing is taking place… a door that has been shut begins to open…. As the door opens, we see that the present is absolute and that, in a sense, the whole universe begins right now, in each second. And the healing of life is in that second of simple awareness…. Healing is always just being here, with a simple mind. ‌—‌Charlotte Joko Beck” ― Joan Tollifson, Nothing to Grasp
-0-
“In simple presence with what is right here now, be it joyful or painful, an amazing freedom reveals itself. It cannot be described or explained in words. It is the freedom to be totally, effortlessly the way things are at this moment. ‌—‌Toni Packer” ― Joan Tollifson, Nothing to Grasp

BUT 24/7 NONDUAL EXPERIENCE IS NOT THE (ONLY?) GOAL IN THIS WORLD – BELIEFS and THE DUAL ARE ALSO VITAL
We are citizens of two realms as taught us by Rebbe Abraham Heschel.

This is by design not by mistake. It wasn’t God having an ‘off-day’! In these teachings we ordinary mortals share the life of the mystic.

SEE: http://www.satyana.org/pdf/SongoftheEartheBook.pdf 1

JOAN TOLLIFSON, religion, simple attention, awareness, nonduality, consciousness, advaita, healing, presence, attention, Charlotte Joko Beck, Toni Packer,

Being in touch with Healing Elements The…

Being in touch with Healing Elements

“The blue sky, the flower, the river, the cloud, these things have a healing nature. If you allow yourself to be in touch with these healing elements, the wounds within your body and your mind will be healed. We should allow ourselves to be healed, and therefore, we should allow ourselves to be in the heart of life, which contains so many wonderful things, like the children, the flower, and so on…”

“The seeds in our consciousness can function like anti-bodies. What is important is that you continue to plant new seeds, the kind of seeds that are both refreshing and healing. And if you just do that, by practicing mindful living so that you can be in touch with the flower, with the cypress tree, with the fresh air, with the beautiful eyes of the children, then these seeds will be planted in yourself, and they will naturally take care of the seeds of your suffering. You don’t even have to touch them. And that is something I think the practice of Buddhism can contribute to psychotherapy in the west.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Holiness meaning enabling the integration of inner oneness…

Holiness, meaning enabling the integration of inner oneness via the realization of outer Oneness, is the healing for which we yearn.